But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
