there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
