The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
