you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
