Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
