I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
