Where are you?
In a non slutty way
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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