i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i now understand why vodka
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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