can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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