I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Randomize
