no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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