***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
