My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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