So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
