There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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