Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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