Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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