I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
