I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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