Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
