He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
