Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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