i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
