so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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