oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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