If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
