Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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