my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
