Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
