did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
