Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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