I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
