Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
