You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
