Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
