I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
