they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
