When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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