they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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