she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
