scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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