last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
