he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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