Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
