You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize