we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
