I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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