hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
