On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
