try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize