Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
