my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
