I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
