I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
