If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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